There is no stopping the assembly line productions of Hollywood remakes. So, instead of griping about it, I've decided to present five proposals for re-envisioning movies and/or television series that I feel would have a great chance in the current Hollywood system. Be warn I may have been slightly biased towards science-fiction.

5. CLASH OF THE TITANS (the series)

This would make a great HBO series. They've done ROME examined THE TUDORS so why not turn to a earlier page in our history books about which both little and much is known. Drawing from both historical and mythological sources this series would cover the full range of Greek/Hellenic myth and history, pre-Roman empire.

4. SHEENA, QUEEN OF THE LOST PLANET

While this is also a science fiction updating of an classic series (based on a comic book) it has also been a movie. Thus this could likewise be either a TV series or a movie. As a series it would probably be better on one of the commercial-free cable networks like Showtime or Cinemax. CGI requirements would be minimal and playing up the scantily clad jungle girl aspect would be the best SFX this show could provide. Though it may be better as a movie.

The Story: Space explorer encounters spacial anomaly, finds himself in uncharted area of space, where he suddenly picks up a signal. Following the signal, a weak distress beacon, he discovers distant primitive jungle world. Investigating the source of the signal reveals the wreck of an small yacht on the surface. This leads to the discovery of Sheena and the Cafria, the latter being a humanoid aboriginal race. Or are they? There's many questions here. But first the space explorer must earn the trust of Sheena and learn to communicate with her.

3. QUEEN OF BLOOD

Forget Barbarella this re-envisioning of minor sci-horror classic QUEEN OF BLOOD, which would be closer in style and feel to a hybrid of LIFEFORCE and PLANET OF THE VAMPIRES, sans zombies yet with all the gratuitous sensuality and naked violence, is the movie vehicle that Rose McGowan should star in. Can't you just imagine her as the green alien space babe who, seductively strutting, appears in the altogether to secure her daily fix of plasma as only a hot alien space vamp can? Best of all this wouldn't be a Corman quickie shot around bits and pieces of foreign movie stock footage and hastily spliced together.

The story: Five astronauts (three men and two women) on the first manned mission to Mars discover a derelict vessel. At first they assume it's from some earlier black-op mission (there's lots of talk and reference to various conspiracy theories) but the comedy sours as they realize that vessel wasn't built by the hand of man. Where was it launched from? How did it get to Mars? As they investigate the wreckage someone does the math and realized there's not way this 'ship' was a interstellar craft, which leads to a search that reveals the proverbial mother ship. There appears to be a survivor (McGowan) in some sort of 'suspended animation'. A survivor that looks amazingly human, aside from the fact she's green. The men, being men, immediately decide the alien female needs rescuing. And so it begins.

2. FLESH GORDON (the series)

If the sci-fi channel can produce an TV series based (loosely) on the FLASH GORDON serials then why not a FLESH GORDON TV series? This would be a full on SF spoof/satire. To add to the comedy there would be a mix of CGI and miniatures, both spaceships and sets.

The story: In the tradition of LEXX the series would launch with tongue planted firmly in check of made for late night cable/TV movies. The first being INVASION OF THE LEZBOTS, in which important female characters are replaced by Lezbots as part of a scheme to take over the galaxy (will Flesh notice in time?); then would follow PLANET OF SLAVE GIRLS, in which Dale is captured by evil space pirates and sold into bondage on a distant planet; this would be followed by IF YOU CAN'T TAKE A JOKE, in which Dr. Flexi Jerkoff is invited to be guest speaker at a science symposium on Mars that turns out to be something else altogether (this episode would feature the first portrayal of a NUDIST COLONY on Mars); and the movies would wrap with the regular series set-up THE SILVER SODOMIZER (or EMPEROR WANG'S RETURN), in which Flesh is captured by evil robots disguised as silver statues sent by Emperor Wang and has to be saved by Dale.

1. DUKES OF HAZZARD, IN SPACE!

This would be the perfect Sci-Fi channel series. First, it's actually set in space, thus it meets the criteria of 1) being SF, and; 2) needing CGI. Sci-Fi channel loves it's CGI. Second, it's an established property thus should have a ready made audience.

So, the story: Uncle Jesse is an old prospector living on a backwater planet with two moons along with his kith and kin. Cousins Bo and Luke are freelance cargo runners, think hot-shot pilots ala Han Solo, and Daisy, well Daisy Duke is Daisy. Together Bo and Luke are owners and operators of the General Lee. While they're out running cargos, and trying NOT to be noticed by space cops, Daisy works as a waitress in one of Hazzard's low orbitals catering to space dogs and the usual space riffraff. (She learns a lot of information working there and is responsible for most of Bo and Luke's pick up jobs.) Boss Hogg is the planetary Governor of Hazzard (now a planet not merely a county) trying to get the planet accepted into the larger galactic republic. The Sherrif of the galactic backwater is, of course, space cop Rosco P. Coltrane. Here Rosco is even more annoying, constantly going on about how he "attended the academy" and constantly lamenting over things that could-might-have been.

DUKES OF HAZZARD (In Space) it's FIREFLY meets SPACE TRUCKERS with a twist of lemony SPACE PRECINCT.


What would your five proposals be?

Copyright © C. Demetrius Morgan