Cast: Anthony Eisley, Megan Timothy, Scott Brady, Kent Taylor, Gary Kent, Greydon Clark, Sheldon Lee, Susan Berkely, Natasha, Sharon Wells, Pam English, Shari Stevens, Jack King.

Director: Ed De Priest

Year: 1969

Run Time: 80 minutes

image

The Movie

One Million AC/DC's singular claim to fame, if you can believe any claim made about exploitation movies, is it was written by Ed "Plan 9 from Outer Space" Wood. One can only hope that he got booze money up front for the dozen or so inane lines in this flick.

But what a wondrously bizarre movie it is!

One Million AC/DC, as the title suggests, is a parody of One Million B.C. that centers on a group of scantily clad cave people who are trapped in their cave by a T-rex. The premise is a threadbare excuse for reel after reel of softcore 'sex'. After all what's a cave man to do when trapped in his cave by the meanest monster of the Cretaceous period if not make the best of a bad situation and pass the time making sweet sweet ugh?

Speaking of ugh the Tyrannosaurus rex that menaces the cavemen looks like an ultra cheap toddler's toy. .

image

As if that wasn't bad enough there is tinted stock footage spliced in at random intervals borrowed from, no surprise here, Hal Roach's One Million BC. .

image

Worse, the humor is miserably dated and will probably come across as witlessly dull for contemporary audiences. For example at one point two actors look straight into the camera and begin to sing, I kid you not: "The Spear Goes into the Monster, The Spear Goes into the Monster," which they repeat then conclude with the final refrain of, "The monster loses his mind."

Analysis

Not since Future War have I seen a movie this gloriously unashamed of it's poverty stricken zero budget origins. One Million AC/DC is a spoof gone wrong. Watching this wonder of the swinging seventies age of sexploitation will leave you amazed and dazed. The plot is minimal. The story an irrelevant excuse to film naked people. .

image

Not necessarily attractive naked people but they're naked just the same. In a way that's refreshing. The people are starkly real. However filling a movie with average everyday folks has its drawbacks, most noticeably in the acting department. But there's ample flesh on display and nudity is the best special effect, not to mention distracting. .

image

Did I mention there's far more skin on display in this sex farce than acting talent? As if anyone is going to rent this for the acting or story. Sadly those looking for pretty eye candy may be disappointed. The cinematography ranges from fair to incompetently amateurish. It's painfully obvious the cameraman in certain segments did not know how to use the equipment. Witness the horrid lighting conditions of this outdoor scene. .

image

It looks like the woman's face has been blackened out. Alas many outdoor scenes are too dark and the indoor scenes don't look much better. A laudable idea alas this spoof was so ineptly shot that it's sexploitation elements are all it has going for it. Scary.

Availability

This title can be purchased on DVD direct from Something Weird Video as part of a double feature pairing it with Mighty Gorga. Tell them Kester from Mise-en-scene Crypt sent you, maybe they'll send me a few screeners.

Final Thoughts

Were the filmmakers on drugs? Oh, wait, this was filmed in sixty-nine. That was the flower power era when everyone was supposed to tune in, turn on, and drop their acid washed jeans or some stupid expletive deleted. Of course they were on drugs. They had to be to film this! But is it worth watching?

One Million AC/DC is marginally better than Spaced Out in the setting and props department though, at times, actually managed to be creepier than Wham Bam Thank You Spaceman. Alas the story is nonexistent, the humor isn't funny, there are far better movies out there full of gratuitous nudity, all of which means the only reason to rent this would be for the curiosity factor. If you must see this rent it with a contemporary DTV exploitation flick like Bikini Girls on Dinosaur Planet or Fred Olen Ray and Jim Wynorski's Dinosaur Island.

image

Copyright © C. Demetrius Morgan

[This is an archived review. Original appeared here.]